WAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST BLONDIES? ONE OF THESE DAYS SOMEONE IS GONNA ATTACK YOU WITH A NICE SUNRISE COLORED DYE!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Monday, June 25, 2007
Bashing Blondes...part 2!
Q: What do you call a blonde golfer with an IQ of 125?
A: A foursome.
Q: What do you call a blonde in a black leather jacket?
A. A rebel without a clue!
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Q: What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A: Divorced.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A space invader.
Q: What do you call a really smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.
Q: What does a blonde say during a porno?
A: There I am!!
Q: What does the postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.
Bashing Blondes...part 1!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed?
A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: How do blonde brain cells die?
A: Alone.
Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q: What will she ask you?
A: "Is it mine?"
Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third grade.
Q: What did the blonde get on her IQ test?
A: Saliva.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
Barber Shop
A blonde walks into a barber shop one day and asks the man if she can get her hair cut. The man says "Well ma'am, I can't cut your hair with those head-phones on. You're going to have to take them off."
She shakes her head vigorously and replies "No, if I take them off, I will die." He put his hands on his hips and ripped them off of her head. She fell to the floor and died. He was extremely surprised and picked up the head-phones.
All he heard was "Breathe in, breathe out, breath in."
BAAAAH!
Once there was this brunette who was driving her corvette with the wind in her hair.
She looked and she saw a farmer with a flock of sheep so she drove over and asked the farmer "if I can guess how many sheep in you're flock will you give me a sheep."
The farmer says "OK".
The brunette says "485".
The farmer says "that's right but if I can guess you're natural hair color can I have my sheep back".
the brunette says "OK".
The farmer says "blonde".
The brunette says how did you know.
The farmer says you just picked the dog.
A Blonde's Dream
One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Blonde: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Blonde: It said "Pull"
A bunch of blonde jokes...woo-hoo!
What do you call an eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First
Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left." So they turned around and went home.
What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.
What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
Oh,look, Daddy....doughnut seeds!
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't blondes dial 911?
They can't find the 11 on the phone.
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
How can you tell if a blonde's been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.
Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
It takes too long to retrain them.
A blonde and a brunnette were walking outside when the brunnette said,"Oh, look at the dead bird." The blonde looked skyward and said, "Where? Where?"
How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Hear about the blonde who got an AM radio?
Took her a month to figure out she could play it at night.
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey team?
They drowned during spring training.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
"Duh! Look! They spelled Macy's wrong!"
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Tell her a joke on Tuesday.
Why are blonde's boobs always square?
Because they forget to take the kleenex out of the box
A corny blonde joke
Okay, so this blonde is driving by in his red sports car, and he sees another blonde rowing with oars in a cornfield.
Well, he is just absolutely furious and he gets out of the car and yells to the blonde in the cornfield: "Hey, if I knew how to swim, I'd go right out there and give you a piece of my mind!"
Q: What did the blonde say when the docter told her one leg was bigger than the other?
A: Like, Not even
Q: How did a Blonde try to kill a bird ??
A: She through it out of the window !!
Accidents
Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.
Airline
A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.
The steward who checks tickets says, "I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class."
"I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde."
Well I'll get the pilot.
The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves.
The steward looks amazed and says," What did you say?"
The pilot simply says," I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!"
Alligator and a Bet
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.
The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A BLONDE woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
Alzheimers
Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!
Andy is God's son
A blonde dies and goes to the pearly gates of heaven to meet Saint Peter...
He first tells her that the only way she can get through the gate is to pass a quite simple test.
"What is The Son Of Gods name?" He asked.
She thought for a minute rubbing her chin in deep thought.
"Andy!" She bursted out with a gleaming smile.
"No, I'mm sorry that is incorrect, what made you say that?" He asked.
She starts singing... "Andy walks with me, andy talks with me, andy tells me..."
Another test
There was a blonde driving a ferrari. A cop pulls her over for speeding, the cop asks," can I see your license and registration please!"
The blonde responds, "license and registration what is that?"
The cop respnds," you will find your license in your purse and registration in your glove compartment."
The cop gets the license and registration and goes back to the car, and he calls dispatcher and reports it. The dispatcher replies," this wouldnt be a blonde in a ferrari would it?"
The cop replies," yes it is."
The dispatcher says, "go back to her car and drop your pants."
The cop responds back,"I cant do that!"
The dispatcher says, "trust me, just do it!" then the cop replies,"ok whatever you say!"
So he walks back to her car, and drops his pants.
The blonde turns around and says, "oh no, not another breathalizer test!"
At College
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
but whether it be dream or truth, to do well is what matters. If it be truth, for truth's sake. If not, then to gain friends for the time when we awaken.
Pedro Calderon de la Barca
Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat.
Ben Hecht
Girl Language"
If I don't call you
[ It's because I'm waiting for you to call me ]
When I walk away from you mad
[ Follow me ]
When I stare at your mouth
[ Kiss me ]
When I say am cold
[ Cuddle me in your arms ]
When I push you or hit you
[ Grab me and don't let go ]
When I start swearing at you
[ Kiss me and tell me you love me ]
When I'm quiet
[ Ask me whats wrong ]
When I ignore you
[ Give me your attention ]
When I pull away
[ Pull me back ]
When you see me at my worst
[ Tell me I'm beautiful ]
When you see me start crying
[ Hold me and tell me everything will be alright ]
When you see me walking
[ Sneak up and hug my waist from behind ]
When I'm scared
[ Protect me&&help me through it]
When I lay my head on your shoulder
[ Tilt my head up smile and kiss me ]
When I grab at your hands
[ Hold them tight and don't let go ]
When I tease you
[ Tease me back and make me laugh ]
When I don't answer for a long time
[ Keep talking to show me everything's OK ]
When I look at you with doubt
[ Back yourself up. Show me I shouldn't doubt you ]
When I say that I like you
[ I really do more than you could understand ]
When I say that I love you
[ I mean it and you'll know I do so don't break my heart]
When I bump into you
[ Bump into me back and make me laugh & smile ]
When I tell you a secret
[ Keep it to yourself safe and untold ]
When I look at you in your eyes
[ Don't look away until I do ]
When I miss you
[ I'm hurting inside ]
When you break my heart
[ The pain never really goes away ]
When I say its over
[ I still want you to be mine ]
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Friday, June 15, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Your celebrity soul mate is someone who's Cute
Who's Your Celebrity Soul Mate?
Brought to you by Tickle
Monday, June 04, 2007
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I Get It...
u wanna have more posts then goldy...
remember peeps no competition!
behave urselves
peace out
(btw can u check out the other blog- I want u to know wat u think of wat I posted)
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Your body's telling you to Exercise More
Are You Good to Your Body?
Brought to you by Tickle
Cheap Trick Lyrics - Surrender Lyrics
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Artist: Cheap Trick Lyrics
Song: Surrender Lyrics
Mother told me, yes, she told me I'd meet girls like you
She also told me, "Stay away, you'll never know what you'll catch"
Just the other day I heard a soldier falling off some Indonesian junk that's going round
Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away
Father says, "Your mother's right, she's really up on things"
"Before we married, Mommy served in the WACS in the Philippines"
Now, I had heard the WACS recruited old maids for the war
But mommy isn't one of those, I've known her all these years
Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away
Whatever happened to all this season's losers of the year?
Ev'ry time I got to thinking, where'd they disappear?
When I woke up, Mom and Dad are rolling on the couch
Rolling numbers, rock and rolling, got my Kiss records out
Mommy's alright, Daddy's alright, they just seem a little weird
Surrender, surrender, but don't give yourself away
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Friday, June 01, 2007
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